Tuesday, November 9

We promised to always be friends. My pen hesitated, this would be difficult.
My feet slam down on pavement. Four miles is easier to run when you aren't being timed.
i wouldn't be so bothered if you cared. I'd like for us both to be bothered.
the fact that you don't only fuels my anger. the anger i use to mute the ache.
emotions i conceal to show i care less than you do. Do you buy it?
With no way to win in this mental warfare, I'll accept even the pettiest of victories.
legs are numb save tension i can feel collecting in my calves and blisters claiming residency.
why is it so easy for you to walk away?
I wish i could hate you, i try. Most of all i wish you had to face me.
look me in the eyes and explain why you do the things you do.
but you're better at running than I and i could never keep up with you.
"I'm done." i say as i meet the starting line again.
a woman reads my time and i repeat it once before realizing i don't care.
what did i do wrong?
you cared only when i wanted to give up and only long enough to change my mind.
i walk outside into the rain and let tiny raindrops water my scalding skin.
i know this story. I know how it ends, but I'm desperately hoping it will surprise me.


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