everything can change.
i count how many days left each morning. morbid.
out for ice cream; laughing, smiling. then WHAM he reminds me the number of days, dismal as ever. it sounds like a lot less time when he says it. i was a little shocked, who knew? all my life i've thought numbers had a higher value than they actually do.
a friend changed the subject, i tried not to think about it.
i suppose i shouldn't be so upset, i've known from the beginning he would leave.
i want us to last so badly. but i don't think the odds are in my favor.
so when it was time to say goodbye that night i couldn't help but cry.
i wanted to tell him how much i love him. i wanted to ask him not to leave.
he would be waiting there for me to turn around and run back into his arms, like every other night.
maybe i should have told him how much i love him.
maybe i would never have lost people that i loved if i had asked them not to leave when they did.